Thoughts
by Krypto
Summary: Clark is caught up with someone besides Lana Lang, if only he could tell his best friend. CC


Cold white flakes drifted lazily down on the tiny city of Smallville. Just as lazily, a one Clark Kent sat alone in his fortress of solitude, lost in thought. The biting cold causing most to stay inside didn't seem to bother this young man of steel. Clark was not a normal boy. Clark was much more than that. Never had Clark ever gotten physically hurt, or even tired. Clark had lived through fire, cold, and even being hit by a car at 60 miles per hour. He was impermeable, invincible, at least, physically.  
  
The only thing that hurt him was his feelings. Clark, like any fifteen year old, was a jumble of emotions. Aching at night, he couldn't share his feelings with those closest to him. His parents understood, but girl problems were out of their field. And he definitely couldn't talk to his friends. Pete couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it, and Chloe. Well, Chloe was part of the problem in the first place.  
  
Since 3rd grade in Mrs. Hartley's room, Clark and Chloe were the best of friends. Sharing everything from sandwiches to trivial thoughts, Clark and Chloe were the best of friends. Even when Clark decided to travel to his own little world every time Lana Lang walked by, Clark and Chloe were the best of friends.  
  
So what brings us to this nippy, December morning in the fortress of solitude? Clark was fighting with himself. He once again checked to telescope carefully placed in front of him, again watching his brunette neighbor sipping cocoa at her kitchen window. Nothing. He felt nothing. From needing a Lana fix every night to drifting the telescope in the exact opposite direction, Clark realized he no longer coveted the bouncy brunette. Someone else had caught his eye.  
  
Clark found himself more and more often becoming a complete klutz around Chloe. Unlike his Lana obsession, he couldn't explain that away with a glowing green necklace.  
  
So here he sat, struggling with the rampant emotions flooding through his veins. More than anything, Clark wished Chloe was here to talk to. With every problem he had, she was always there to sort it out. But no, she couldn't help this time. Clark was on his own, alone. Silently giving up on the telescope, he sat back down. He closed eyes to sleep, but an image haunted him. Haunted him not because it was terrible, but because it brought such joy. Clark saw himself, holding Chloe in his arms, and bending down to kiss her.  
  
"Son, someone's here to see you," yelled Martha Kent.  
  
"Just gimme a sec," Clark zipped around pretending to be in full winter gear. "Ok, mom, I'm coming."  
  
Hardly descending the ladder, before someone a good head shorter than himself stopped him.  
  
"I know you're a little crazy, but it's a freezer in here"  
  
"The cold just doesn't seem to bother me, Clo"  
  
"Ugh, fine, lets just get inside before I have to put you on the Wall of Weird"  
  
Shuffling back inside, Martha had left two steaming mugs of hot cocoa out. Knowing something must be going on, Martha and Jonathan left to town for tractor parts, much to Jonathan's disliking.  
  
"What's up Chloe?" Clark said taking a deep sip of his cocoa.  
  
"That's what I should be asking you. I'm not dense Clark, I can see something's wrong. So are you gonna tell me or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?" she said.  
  
"It's nothing, just some financial stuff on the farm, nothing I can really do ya know," he retorted, lying through his teeth.  
  
"Two things Kent. One, you are a horrible liar. And two, I thought we were friends. I thought we could talk to each other about anything," she said, plainly showing her sadness.  
  
"No Chloe it's just that…I can't tell you. You know I would if I could, but it's something I have to figure out on my own. Chloe you are my best friend and there is nothing I want to hide from you."  
  
"I know, it's just that lately, you are being clumsy around me, acting weird. It seems like you want me to leave you alone or something."  
  
"That's the last thing I want," Clark quickly said, mentally hoping he didn't give himself away. "Just trust me, once I can, I'll tell you everything. Ok?"  
  
"I trust you Clark"  
  
Chloe finished the last of her cocoa and got up. She said a simple goodbye and walked outside to her car and left. Clark sat for what seemed like an hour going over the conversation. He was so stupid, not only did he almost give himself away, but also he saddened the one person he cared about most in this world. Only after his parents returned did Clark get up. Mumbling something, he got up and returned to his fortress of solitude.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Chloe headed home in a mood not unusual given the circumstances she had been in recently. Once again, Clark had brushed her off. Chloe knew he would never hurt someone intentionally, but he had. Clark was her best friend, and now he had suddenly decided he needed to face this problem on his own. Essentially, cutting Chloe even more out of his life.  
  
Sadness didn't describe Chloe. Clark wasn't just her best friend. He was a lot more to her. He was the steady rock she could always count on or turn to. He was the nicest person in the world. Most importantly, he was the one person Chloe was in love with. It wasn't Clark's fault the way she felt. It's not like she had ever told him how she felt.  
  
Still, he was pushing her away. It's one thing to outgrow a friendship, it's another to break someone's heart. Every time she confronted him, he would just either make something up, or change the subject. Now the closest thing to the truth was out. Clark had something going on and he didn't want her to know about it. That was the biggest blow. Even when he acted strangely, he was still her friend. Now, though, he just shut her out. Friends don't do that.  
  
Blinking madly, she tried to force back the tears she knew were coming. Finally, the flood won over, and glistening drops rolled down her face. Why him? Why couldn't she have picked someone who maybe could like her back? Deep down, she thought Clark knew how she felt, and that drove him away. Him being so stuck on perfect little Miss Lang.  
  
Chloe parked home and sped into the house and dashed up the stairs. She had a fortress of solitude too. Entering her room, she turned and locked the door. Lying in bed, she curled up in the covers still strewn about from the horrific attempt at waking up. Slowly, she drifted off, still thinking of the one person she cared most about in the world.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Clark mulled it over again and again, weighing it again and again. On one side, Clark saw he and Chloe being friends again, never speaking of his hidden love, and once again doing all the crazy things they would do together. On the other side, Clark saw him admitting his feelings, pouring his heart out to his best friend, who in turn becomes too weirded out to talk to him ever again. Still, though, he faintly saw another side, so heavy it would unbalance both other sides of the scale. He saw Chloe and himself, sharing an embrace before locking in a kiss after Clark admitted his love.  
  
His choice was pretty obvious. Clark would rather spend eternity as her friend, swallowing his feelings, than allow the chance of losing her all together. With that in mind he decided it was time to repair any lasting damage. He would have to apologize to Chloe, then continue on as normal, pretending to never have thought these things.  
  
Slowly rising, Clark went inside long enough to tell his parents where he was going before speeding off to Chloe's house. He didn't use all his super speed, just enough to keep him unable to be seen. As much as he had decided, he still didn't want to go through with it. Slowing to a walk, he came to the Sullivan residence, and gently knocked on the door.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
'I love you Chloe…just kiss me' Clark bent down and carefully closed the gap between himself and Chloe. Their lips were millimeters apart; she could feel his breath. Sensory overload came into effect, as she knew his lips would soon be on hers.  
  
"Chloe, wake up, Clark is here to see you," said an annoying young voice, undoubtedly her little sister.  
  
"Fine, I'll be right there, just be quiet," she replied angrily. Tossing out of bed, she staggered toward the door. Quickly unlocking it, she threw it open, finding her arduous walk unneeded as standing before her was Clark himself.  
  
"Your sister said you'd be up here, sorry if I came at a bad time," he said noticing her groggy look.  
  
"No, now is always a good time, come on in before the brats infest the place," she said eying the younger siblings peering from behind Clark. She slammed the door closed as Clark walked in, then walked back to sit on her bed. "So, what's up?"  
  
"It's about earlier today. I'm really sorry. I know I've been acting pretty weird lately, and I wanted to say that I am truly sorry and I want us to be cool still," Clark said. He looked at her on the bed. It was incredibly unreal. The room was a mess. Covers were strewn all over the bed, while it looked like the clothes basket had been overfilled for weeks. Yet, still, amidst the chaos, an angel still shone brightly as ever. His nerve failed him. Clark tried his best to stop what he knew he was going to do, but he could no longer hold it in.  
  
"Don't worry about it Clark. I know there are some things you gotta do on your own. It's not like I have to be everywhere and do everything for you."  
  
Closing his eyes, Clark spoke with unusual calmness. "Don't you want to know what it was all about?"  
  
"Sure, I guessed you'd tell me when you were ready," she said half- heartedly, awaiting his response.  
  
"It was about you. That's why I couldn't tell you what was wrong. This is really hard for me so please just listen."  
  
'I was finally happening,' she thought. 'He's going to tell me how he can't be friends with me anymore because he knows I like him.'  
  
"Whatever you're thinking, that's not it," he said quickly, seeing the almost tearful expression on her face. "I've been feeling strange lately. Not like sick, more like enlightened. For our entire freshmen year I was so hung up on Lana that I could hardly see myself. When we became friends I thought I had hit a lucky break. That's what I get for assuming. The longer I hung out with Lana the less I like her as a girlfriend. She became another friend. I even compared that friendship with ours. That's when it hit me. You have always been there. You have always done everything in your power to help me. Even when it was my own fault, you tried to bail me out. I thought I had developed a newfound respect for you and our friendship. But I started to look even closer. I started to see how great a person you are all together. I saw how amazing you are, and how beautiful."  
  
Chloe burst into tears. It was more than any dream she had ever had. And it was real. She couldn't think. After all the possible things he could have said, this was least expected. The most outspoken girl in Smallville was at a loss for words.  
  
Clark was taken aback. She was crying, his worst fears realized. It was obvious that things would be too strange between them now. She must have been crying that he would tell her something so horrible. "I'm sorry.. I guess I'll just leave now."  
  
"Where are you going?" Chloe asked.  
  
"Thing will be too weird between us, I'll just leave."  
  
Chloe jumped from her bed all the way to Clark. Grabbing him around the waist, she just hugged him.  
  
"Does this mean what I think it means?" Clark asked, hoping against hope. His answer was a deep kiss.  
  
"Does that answer your question?" she said smiling. Clark couldn't help but to just smile back.  
  
"We'd better open this door and talk to your parents." He said still smiling  
  
"What? Why?" she questioned.  
  
"I'd hate to think what your little sisters told them, seeing as they've been listening in the whole time. And the locked door isn't going to help our case," he said calmly.  
  
"Why those little snitches!!!" Chloe dashed to the door, grabbing Clark and pulling him along.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Ok, there it is. So tell me what you think. I love to hear whether my story is god or not. 


End file.
